X-treme Eating?

This press release from the Center For Science In The Authoritarian Interest made the news rounds yesterday: Chain Restaurants Charged With Promoting X-treme Eating.

You've probably heard the story before - lots of stuff from the sit-down chain restaurants isn't so good for you. Most of us knew that already. And most of us also already knew that there's probably not all that much difference between the heavy, large portions at sit-down chains and the heavy, large portions at local mom-and-pop restaurants. Of course, mom and pop aren't mentioned because it's a lot easier to blame a faceless corporation than it is to blame mom and pop.

Future Cartman: Haha, it's me, Cartman! You from the future. I came back to tell you that this is the day you turn it all around. You stop eating junk food and you start studying harder, you stay away from drugs and alcohol and you become CEO of your own time-travel company!

Cartman: [sets the box of cookies down] Oh wow, really? That's so awesome! Now I'll really work to be successful!

Future Cartman: Right on!

Cartman: Go have sex with yourself, asshole! I'm not that stupid! Just for that, I'm gonna spend my whole childhood eating what I waunt, and doin' drugs when I waunt! Whatevuh! I'll do what I waunt!