Monday, May 22, 2006

Global Warming Is Totally Serial People

Maybe Andrew Revkin doesn't watch South Park. Today's New York Times has a piece on Al Gore's new global warming movie "An Inconvenient Truth." Southpark (of course) beat the Times to the story, and beat the movie to the theater.

This is from the episode "Manbearpig" courtesy of the South Park Scriptorium:

[South Park Elementary school gym, day. The student body is gathered there to hear from a guest speaker. Mr. Mackey is presiding]

Mr. Mackey: M'kay, students, we have a very special guest speaker today. Who can tell me the name of our country's last vice-president?

Kyle: Dick Cheney?

Mr. Mackey: No, the last one.

Butters: Bill Clinton.

Mr. Mackey: No, Clinton's vice-president. [no one has an answer] He is here today to talk to you students about some very serious issues. Please welcome Al Gore. [some applause. Al Gore arrives and Mr. Mackey steps away to one side]

Stan: Who?

Al Gore: Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students of South Park Elementary.. I'm here to educate you about the single biggest threat to our planet. You see, there is something out there which threatens our very existence and may be the end of the human race as we know it. I'm talking of course about... [a projector comes on and a picture of a monster appears] Manbearpig. [a beast with the legs and tail of a pig, the body and arms of a bear, and the face and upper-body posture of a man]

Kyle: [softly, to Stan] Manbearpig? [Stan just turns his hands up and shrugs]

Al Gore: It is a creature which roams the earth alone. It is half man, half bear, and half pig. Some people say that Manbearpig isn't real. Well, I'm here to tell you know, Manbearpig is very real, and he most certainly exists. I'm serial. Manbearpig doesn't care who you are or what you've done. Manbearpig simply wants to get you! I'm super-serial. [Mr. Mackey and Mrs. Garrison just look at each other.] But have no fear, because I am here to save you! And someday, when the world is rid of Manbearpig, everyone will say "Thank you, Al Gore. You're super awesome." The end.

And from the New York Times article,

He [Al Gore] laments being unable so far to awaken the public to what he calls a "planetary emergency" despite evidence that heat-trapping smokestack and tailpipe gases are warming the earth, and even after Hurricane Katrina and Europe's deadly 2003 heat wave, which he calls a foretaste of much worse to come.

"I've been trying to tell this story for a long time, and I feel as if I've failed to get the message across," Mr. Gore muses.

Maybe people just don't like to be scared to death. And maybe people have trouble believing what amount to prophecies of doom. Oh yeah- and Al Gore is the Millhouse of politicians. Nobody likes Millhouse.


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